He's Gonna be so Small
by Tori-Raven
Summary: What happens when James learns that Lily is pregnant?


Lily sat on the edge of their bed it utter shock. She looked at the stick in her hands, not really believing what she was seeing. It was too soon. They were too young. James was due to be home from work at any minute, if he found her like this…. Even with those thoughts in her head, she couldn't bring herself to move from her spot. Shock had completely taken over.

"Lil?" Lily's head snapped up at the sound of her husband coming through the front door of their home. They had the perfect home for a family. Sure they had talked about kids, but in the more abstract way; there was a war going on and they wanted to wait until it was safer.

Lily stuffed the stick in her back pocket just in time for James to come barreling into their bedroom. His hair was wind swept and there were new bruises forming on his arms. Auror training was going to kill James.

"Hello love. I was starting to get worried when you didn't answer." He ducked down to kiss her. Try as she wanted, Lily didn't have it in her to give an enthusiastic response. Noticing her passiveness, James took a step back to look at Lily. _Really_ look at her.

"What's wrong? Are you okay..?" The concern was evident in his voice. These days, asking what was wrong felt like asking who died. Typically they went one and the same.

"James, we need to talk…" Lily pulled James's hand, leading him to their bed to sit. At hearing the words "we need to talk" James froze. Nothing good came after those words.

"Love, what's wrong? We can figure it out." James kissed Lily's temple as he always did when she was freaking out.

Lily looked at the floor for a moment, then pulled out the pregnancy test from her back jean pocket.

"I've finally figured out why I've been throwing up lately…James…I'm...I'm… pregnant…" Lily could hardly get the words out. As she said them, she looked at James. She saw his expression turn from worried, to anger, to fear.

James said nothing. Lily could see the wheels in his head turning, but still, nothing came out of his mouth. After what felt like eternity, James stood up, and left their room. Lily put her head in her hands, and herd the tell-tail sign of disaperation. James had left her and their baby.

James went to the first place he could think of, and that was Sirius's flat. As he arrived, he pounded on the door until someone answered.

"What the bloody hell—oi! Prongs what are you doing here? What's wrong?" Sirius had opened his door, going from annoyed that someone would pound on the door to worry in two seconds flat.

"Nothing's wrong. I need a guy's night. Where is everyone? We need to drink. And we need to drink now," all of James's words were rushed in a manner which he tried to play off as nothing was wrong.

Sirius looked at his best mate skeptically. "Last I checked, Moony and Wormtail should be back here anytime now, they both get off of work soon." As if to punctuate Sirius's statement, Remus apperated.

"Where's Lily?" Remus, always the keen observer had quickly realized that James had looked off. His normal eyes weren't lit up with mischief. At the mention of Lily's name, James's eyes didn't light up with adoration; they flashed with something Remus had only seen on missions with James for the order: fear. The red flags automatically went off in Remus's head.

"Well I don't know about you lot, but I'm going to the Leaky Cauldron," Sirius stood up rubbing his hands together. "Meet you gents there," and with that, Sirius disappeared."

"Prongs, mate, what's going on." Remus knew he had to get to the bottom of what was bothering his friend.

"Nothing Moony. Everything is fine." James looked away as he spoke. A moment later, he followed Sirius to the Leaky Cauldron.

Remus went to write Peter a note explaining where they went so the last friend could meet them there.

At the Leaky Cauldron, the men became more and more concerned with James and his behavior. James dodged any mention of Lily, he forced his jokes, and his laughter didn't meet his eyes. As the night wore on, the men had come to an understanding that they wouldn't ask James for the true meaning of this spur of the moment outing until Sirius could truly get through James.

The drinks were poured, and they were also heavily consumed, mainly by James. The men gave each other weary glances as they watched the glasses of fire whiskey grow past the typical night out.

Peter left first, saying he had to work early the next morning. That left it to Remus and Sirius to get their friend back home.

"Prongs, mate, we should be getting you back home," Remus put his comforting hand on James's shoulder.

James pulled away, staggering as he did so, "I'm not going home Moony. Not right now." Sirius and Remus looked at each other, communicating in a way that only the closest of friends could.

"Mate, how 'bout we head back to my place?" Sirius asked this question wearily, not really expecting James to agree.

"Perfect! Let's go." James wobbled as he walked to the apparition site.

Remus grabbed Sirius arm to stop him from following James. "Look, Pads…Prongs won't actually talk to us if we bombard him. I'll go to my place, and you get through to him. He'll talk to you. Come get me if you need me okay?"

"I'll keep you updated Moony." With one last glace at his friend, Sirius sauntered off to meet James.

"Oi! Prongs! Wait up." Sirius jogged to meet his best friend, the man he considered his brother. "James, what's wrong with you?"

James looked up started at the mostly jovial Sirius acting…well, serious. "No—nothing."

"Prongs, don't give me that shit. The last time you drank that much, it was your stag night." At the mention of stag Sirius let out his bark of a laugh.

James took a step back. He hadn't thought that his emotional state would be picked up so easily. He expected it from Remus, but not Sirius.

"Mate, can we not talk about this here? Let's go back to your flat," with those final words, James disappeared.

As the night went on, James drank more and more; and Sirius was getting more and more frustrated.

"Prongs, what the fuck is going on? Where's Lily?" At the sound of Lily's name, James's eyes grew wide.

"Uh, Lily… she's home. Resting…"

"And what, you just left your new wife at home, alone? You haven't left her side for more than work since Hogwarts. Talk to me mate."

James dropped his eyes from Sirius's gaze. As his eyes fell to the floor, his voice was small with worry: "He's gonna be so small. How do I protect him?"

"Who's gonna be small?" Sirius's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "You didn't knock up Lily-flower…" Sirius said these words jokingly, but James looked up in anger at them.

"Pads, I don't know what happened. We didn't want this yet. Not with the war going on, not with everything…"

"You absolute _ass_ Potter. Your _wife_ told you that she's pregnant with _your_ child, and you go get drunk? Does she even know where you are?"

"I just…I panicked." James pushed away from the couch he was sitting on to pace around the apartment.

Sighing, Sirius stood up to give his brother a hug. "Prongs, congratulations. But we need to get you back to your wife." Sirius pulled back from the hug, put one hand on James's shoulder, and disappeared to the potter's home.

When Sirius and James appeared in James and Lily's living room with a loud crack, Lily softly padded into the room with her wand drawn.

At seeing the two men, with Sirius supporting James, Lily lowered her wand.

"Where the actual fuck have you been?" Lily's green eyes flashed, showing her true anger. Yes, she was relieved that James had come back, but she was also hurt and angry at him for leaving.

James shrugged off Sirius's arm, and quickly made his way across the room to his wife. He dropped to his knees in front of her, grabbing her hips. He kissed her belly softly.

"Shh Lily. He can hear you. Hi baby. I'm your daddy. I'm sorry about earlier, I just needed some time. If your mummy forgives me, im gonna teach you everything. I need to get you a broom. You'll be an amazing chaser just like your pa."

At hearing James's words to her still flat stomach, her anger slowly left her. James didn't leave because he was upset with her. He was scared. Lily lifted her hand to put it on James's head as he kissed her belly.

Sirius, being his usual self, coughed in the background.

"Well, Prongs, if you're done talking to Prongs JR..." James turned his head to glare as he stood up. Sirius crossed the room and pulled Lily into his arms. 

"Thank you for bringing him home to me Sirius." Lily said in a whisper.

"Don't be too hard on him Lily-flower. He's just scared." Sirius pulled back and kissed Lily on top of her head. "I'll see you lot later." Sirius took a few steps back, gave a smile, and disappeared.

James grabbed Lily's hand, pulling her to him, holding her tightly against him.

"Lily, I am so sorry. Please forgive –"Lily cut him off with a kiss.

"James, we can talk about everything in the morning. It's okay. I understand. But for now, I need to get to bed. I have an early appointment with the healers tomorrow."

"I love you Lily. I won't ever leave like that…"

At James's words, Lily softly kissed his lips, and pulled him to their bedroom.


End file.
